Love means… (for every relationship)

What I’ve learned from my years of experience is that love is a CHOICE.  Love is both given freely and received freely.  The word love is overused.  The meaning of love is altruistic.  It is a respect given from someone to another.  While the word love seems almost meaningless (because it is said so often) and empty, the feeling of love is powerful.  It’s been a good few years since meeting my best friends, and while they mean a tremendous amount, of which I cannot even express, we have our fair share of fights.  Every caring gesture on their part is a choice.  They give their love and care freely.  No one is forcing them to love me, or me to love them.  It is a choice, that despite my shortcomings and mistakes and quirks, they love me.  And it goes that way for every relationship.  But while we each care a lot for each other, I realized that I started counting their actions.  Not specifically like a tally, where they did this nice favor but oh then this thing offended me.  It did seem however that their love felt only as tangible as each nice action and cordial encounter.  This is not fair.  No one should feel like their actions are counted either for or against them.  And just like that, I made out their love to be conditional.  But that is not love.  “Love is never having to say you’re sorry.”  (Like I said in my first post, cliches are cliches for a reason.)  And that is true; it is the unconditional respect, care, and trust for the other person.  A few days ago, I read an article.  It was about a young wife who realized that she dug into her husband on every little detail she considered an offense.  Even though he cared for her unconditionally and everything he did was intended for her benefit, she would yell at him for getting the wrong kind of meat, and other things along those lines.  She realized that it was absurd to belittle him over differences and count his actions against him.  See we are so hungry to love and be loved, but we turn that into counting actions and starting fights (and the worst part is, we don’t even realize it!).  I have found that it is important to be intentional with your actions, and when you mess up you make it right.  I am by no means mistake-proof, but I need to put forth the effort to know that they give me that unconditional love, to give unconditional love to others, and stop counting actions as if someone will win.  No one wins when love is conditional.  I urge you to take a look at your actions and how you treat those you count as your loved ones.  Is that love conditional?  What matters is that you don’t continue to make the same mistakes.

Below is the article I reference in this post.  Enjoy!:


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